my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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