Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
