she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
