Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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