OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
