I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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