so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
