I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
