I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
