i permit you to call me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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