the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
