Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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