so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
