The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
