i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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