I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
