On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize