I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
time to smoke my breakfast
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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