But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
