two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
