What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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