the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
