Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
