haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
