Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
