Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
