Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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