census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
