I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize