I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize