At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
