My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
