Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
