had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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