Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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