did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
