when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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