? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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