if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
