Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
