like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
