I'm jealous of your bromance
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
