I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Are we still banned from the library?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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