I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
