I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
