I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I didn't notice because vodka
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
