i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
