I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
