Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
