Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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