She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
