he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
