i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize