Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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