So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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