But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
