what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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