Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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