you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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