Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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