so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So many bounce houses so little time
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
