Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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