This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
