If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just invented taco cereal.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
