I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
