I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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