Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
