Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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