Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Randomize