I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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