do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize