dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
