I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
its liver damage thursday
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
