shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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