Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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