no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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