I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
